14 year old virgin who wanted to grow

Someone once gave me this joke type writing where a businessman was bragging to a teacher friend. The businessman was asking the teacher about his salary, for one thing, hoping to be able to look superior by revealing his own 6 figure income.

The teacher, at the end of the story, simply said,” You make expensive things, but they are just things, you make a lot of money for yourself, but I prefer making a difference.”

Reading those words of wisdom reminded me of why I chose to become a teacher in the first place. Some would even say that the profession chose me. Indian philosophy states that each individual has a dharma, a career that they were meant to follow and that, without which, they will never totally be fulfilled. My dharma is teaching, I have known that since I was 6 years old. The day that my first grade teacher, Sister Marie-Theresina, asked me to assist her by tutoring my classmates, she opened me to a lifetime of teaching and a lifetime of fulfillment in the field.

When I look back at all those years of spending hours and hours in the classroom, it’s not the salary that will remain in my mind and heart, it’s my students’ breakthroughs I helped catalyze here and there.

One such breakthrough came from a precautious 14 years old, one unexpected Monday morning. She was the daughter of a minister. Every day, she dressed totally in black and looked like a punkish witch. Having matching black lipstick and black nail polish created the look she obviously wanted. She was not the social type and would seldom even hang out with her own sister.

One day, she entered my classroom while I was absorbed in teaching preparations. “Mr. Parker,” she said nervously,” can I talk to you?” My door has always been open to students and their problems. “You are the only adult I trust and I need a huge favour,” she continued. Coming from this quiet, scrawny little girl who had barely said boo all year, her opening statement surprised and intrigued me. “How can I help you?” I said in my teacher-father tone.

“I am 14 years old, and a virgin”, the words resounded in my head. “My new boyfriend is 19 and my parents don’t know I have a boyfriend yet,” were her next bomb. “Can you help convince my mother to bring me to the doctor and get the pill? My boyfriend is insisting we have sex and I don’t want to get pregnant.”

My breathing stopped at that point and I drifted into another world. A world where I would have to face a minister’s wife, tell her that her 14 year old daughter wanted to have sex with a 19 year old, that her daughter trusted me more than her own parents. I also had to tell her that she needed to take the pill and wanted her mother to be so understanding that she would take her little girl to a doctor to get the medication. Wow! You can just imagine the myriad of thoughts and apprehensions that suddenly flooded my brain.

Putting all my fears and needs aside, I decided to go back to being the wise teacher this girl needed and uttered words that even surprised me. “Ok, I will do that, but under one condition. You must sit there and listen while I talk about the birds and the bees. Once I am sure you know what you are doing, then I’ll talk to your mother.” She agreed. Did she have a choice?

I started my long winded speech, gently and with a fatherly voice. I tried to help her look at the reasons boys his age try to pressure young girls to have sex. I also tried to help her see why she wanted to have sex with this older boy she barely knew. Then, I tried to help her see what happens next. Whether he moves on, or whether he stays around for a while, she will be left with a permanent, non changeable consequence of her decision. In other words, I tried my best to help her see the bigger picture. She listened, a lot more focused and opened than I expected. Once I had run out of things to say, I asked if she had any questions. She had none. Then, as I had committed to do, I informed her I would meet with her mother, that evening.

The meeting with the mother went surprisingly smoothly. Instead of being angry at her daughter or at me, she was appreciative of my help. She even stated that she was so grateful to God that her daughter, at least, had found an adult she trusted. I was stunned but happy.

I did not hear about the issue again for months. My student attended classes, like any other student, never referred to our conversation. I decided not to meddle, even thought I was dying to know the outcome. Then, one day, she dropped by my empty classroom and said simply, calmly, and gratefully,”Mr. Parker, I just wanted to say thank you for my mother and myself. And, I thought you should know. My boyfriend and I are no longer together and I am ok with that. I decided not to have sex until I feel ready and he decided to move on. You were right; he just wanted to use me. I did go to the doctor with my mother and now we speak openly about everything. Thank you from both of us.” Then, she hugged me and walked out, making both of us a little teary.

I’ll always remember this experience where I was able to make a difference with this fairly level headed young lady. I’ll always be grateful for having had the experience to carry in my heart, more than 20 years later. Hope my sharing it with you has made some difference in your life too.

Dead Cockroach

There is a dead cockroach in my sink
Should I be worried
There’s a dead cockroach in my sink
Sould I be sad?
Did it have babies that it carried?
If I find them, will I be mad?

There’s a dead cockroach in my sink
What’s it doing there?
There’s a dead cockroach in my sink
What’s it doing here?

Why is it there? Why is it dead?
Why am I obsessing
About an insect that I dread?

It couldn’t have been killed by Ruby
It couldn’t have been squished by Cindy
Adonis surely didn’t do it, he doesn’t even care
Unlike the girls, playing with a bug, for him, is not a dare

Why it’s in the sink is a no brainer
There was food, there were dirty dishes
Why is died is definitely stranger
Was my food so bad it fell to my wishes?

Oh well, no matter, it’s gone
Oh well, no matter, I flushed this one
Oh well, no matter, it’s dead
Oh well, no matter, well, until another one shows its ugly head.

Taiwan's national erEction Day

Driving to school, this morning, at around 7:45, I glanced at the sky. What I saw was an eLection balloon and the moon. Since the moon has been blamed for many an eRection, I had an idea.
Here it is. This is an actual conversation between my friend Casper and myself. It happened a few years ago. The content must have made an impression, it still lingers in my mind, grin.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Casper: Gilles, did you know today is National Erection Day?
Gilles: Really? Wow, I thought Taiwan was pretty shy about talking about those things. Do they have those days often?
Casper: Well, this is the biggest eRection all year. It’s the President’s ERection. He always has the biggest eRections in Taiwan.
Gilles (figuring it out, but holding back a chocking laughter): Oh, I see. And do Taiwanese have eRections often?
Casper (very enthusiastically): Yes, every day, it seems. There are eRections for the President, there are eRections for the city and the county.
Gilles (feeling a bit mischievous by then): And is that mostly men who have eRections?
Casper: Yes, it’s usually men who have eRections, but some women have eRections too.
Casper (before I even get a chance to think of something fun to say): And Taiwan’s eRections are sometimes very violent. People will fight during eRections; it’s a lot of fun to watch on TV.
Gilles: I bet!
Gilles (unable to hold himself any longer): Casper, how about a quick but useful English lesson now.
Casper (innocently): In English, there is a big difference between the word eRection and eLection. I think you mean eLection, right? When people vote to choose a new President?
Casper: Yes, of course, but then what is eRection?
Gilles (explaining simply): Well, ….
Casper (his face turned bright red): Oh, I see. Well, Taiwanese do have eRections too, but we don’t put it on TV usually. Well, that is not true, do you remember last week when the famous TV announcer was caught by reporters in a hotel room with another woman?
Gilles: Yes, that must have been a very expensive eRection for that poor man who couldn’t keep his eRection in his pants.

One Day, I pondered

One day, I sat and pondered
At my life, my choices, my accomplishments
One day, I sat and wondered
If I were to start again, would I find the same replenishments?

In the things that used to sustain me
In the words that used to guide me
In the friends that used to support me
In the loved ones that since have left me

What would my life be like?
Should a different path had been mine
What would my life be like?
Should the Universe not have been so kind?

I was blessed with a magnificent I.Q.
A body that endures the test of time, I tell you
I was blessed with health while others falter
And I see my friends and family’s wellbeing alter

I have little money yet never need
I have little possessions yet seldom feel greed
I have few close friends yet for no one else want
I have little family left yet am at peace with this daunt

Half my life, I have already live’
Half my life, now over in a moment
Yet, I am here, vibrant and full of things to give
Still growing, learning, forever as life’s student

What will the future bring?
What can I learn from the past?
What will I create, now, of this string?
Of encounters, coincidences, and occurrences alas

The future is for no man to know they say
The past if over, move on, if you may
The present is all that counts
Live life to the fullest, be open to give and receive in large amounts

Gilles

Just one look.

One word from you and my frown turns to a smile
One look from you and my heart regains its stride
One caress from your soft hands makes my skin alive
One sound from your gentle voice makes me reach for the sky

You have the power to make me laugh and the skill to make me cry
You have the strength to appease many an outcry
You have the wisdom to bring me out of a land so dry
That I sometimes think God himself put you in my sky

Missing you sends pains to my heart
Seeing you brings spring back from the dark
Thinking of you opens the hope of a new day
Hearing from you atones the mishaps of my way

This is an ode to you, my friend
This is a love song which will never end
This is a poem to express my joy
This is a sonnet to say that this boy

Loves you
Appreciates you
Needs you
And knows he is darn lucky to have you

Gilles